THE Parent-Teacher Conference

There is no denying that parent-teacher conferences can be a tricky time. Even if there was ample communication leading up to conference, a ton of pressure is placed on the brief 15 minutes that teachers and parents have to meet together. This pressure is compounded by the fact that teachers may be somewhere between conference number three and conference number sixty and parents have rushed out of work and made it to the door of the school at the precise time the conference is set to start. There are, however, some strategies we can employ to ensure everyone enters and exits the meeting feeling positive and productive. As a educator and a parent, I have generated a list of strategies to employ from each lens.

Teachers

Ask for questions ahead of time.

This reminds families that they are active participants in the meeting and are not just there to receive information from the teacher or teaching team. This also provides the educator(s) time to reflect or gather additional data relevant to the parent question. Be sure to view questions as a request for partnership, not as a judgement. Your mindset about questions is critical to your ability to respond.

Prepare your welcome.

Your welcome sets the tone for the meeting. You may be exhausted or even a bit nervous, having a well rehearsed opening will help you get started on the right foot. Thanks to the fascinating makeup of our brain, compassion and positivity can be contagious. Remember to start with a smile.

Conferences with multiple teachers require additional planning.

Teaming configurations and co-teaching models occasionally lead to conferences which include multiple educators. This can be overwhelming for parents, especially if each teacher takes a turn talking off the cuff about the child. Make a plan and deliver a unified message.

Challenging news to share? Over prepare.

Unfortunately, we are occasionally tasked with sharing challenging news with parents. Whether this news is related to behavior or academics, it can be a difficult message to deliver and an even more difficult message to hear. Prepare for these conversations by collecting specific data related to the concern and avoid exaggerations. For example, “[child name] can’t control himself during class,” can sound harsh and judgmental. Conversely, “I redirect [child name] six times during a class period to help him stay on task. Are there any strategies you use a home to help her focus?” provides the parent clear information and is framed in a way that indicates you are focused on helping the child improve.

 

Parents

Write your questions down.

Even if your teacher or teaching team did not request questions prior to the conference, write down the questions you are hoping to have answered. Depending on the format of the meeting, the teachers may lead or close with your questions. If your questions are not addressed up front, listen throughout the session in case some of your concerns are already being addressed. This will save time for your remaining questions later in the meeting. Be sure make notes about the answers to the questions as well. After the conference you may need to rush back to work, hit up the grocery store, or run to a sporting event. By the time you are ready to reflect on the meeting, you may require a memory jog and your notes will be critical.

Ask follow up questions.

If the information shared seems unclear or there were terms/language sprinkled in you were unfamiliar with, feel free to ask follow up questions. As with most professions, education has its own dictionary of field specific terms and they occasionally slip into our conversations.  There is no shame in asking for clarification regarding those terms, chances are the teacher did not intend to use jargon and will happily explain. If you aren’t exactly sure what to ask, a great follow up question is “Can you tell me more?”

Heard some challenging news?

Occasionally during a conference, you hear news that may feel surprising. As human beings (and parents), when we are caught off guard our default response is often defensive. Keep in mind, the teacher has the best interest of your child at heart. So, ask follow up questions, if necessary, but then give yourself some time to let the news settle. It may be a good idea to schedule a follow up meeting to discuss the information further after you have had an opportunity digest and formulate more questions. Remember, teachers want parents to be part of the educational team. Sometimes they have to share information from their perspective, but ultimately they want to work together to help your child grow.

Be ready when your time is up.

The conference time is brief, and you may feel like you have a lot more you need to ask or say. Feel free to request a follow up meeting or phone call. Rushing to squeeze a conversation in at the wire limits its effectiveness.

Whether a parent or educator, everyone at the conference arrives with the same goal, doing what’s best for the child. Regardless of your role, conference time should be approached with planning and reflection.